Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!

I am so mad right now that I cannot contain myself! So I must write about it!
Last night my boyfriend took his laptop back to his house, so his mother could use it. I had to go pick it back up this morning so I could continue my search for a job.
Then, as I went to go onto monster.com, I noticed all the damn porno sites!

Now, even though I am a crazy ass bitch sometimes, that is open to just about everything.. In my relationships I am VERY old fashioned. I believe that looking at porno is cheating on me. And my boyfriend KNOWS this! We have had this argument a few times before, and each time he says it won't happen again.

Now I sit here ranting and raving to all of you. I even try to brainwash myself to think that it is all nothing, he's not physically cheating on me with another woman, he's just looking. But I cannot accept this. It's like "What are my boobs not big enough"? "Am I too blonde or something"? It drives me mad!

I know all you men out there (no offense) are thinking I'm nuts right now, but the fact is that I cannot help it to think and feel this way. And to be quite honest, I'm not the only woman that feels this way! Why do you think men hide their playboys?
It's because of the MILLIONS of women who feel such as I do.

I also need the help from all of you, if anyone is even out there reading. See I've had enough of this BS! I love him dearly, but to me this is cheating! I want to stay with him, my daughter even calls him daddy. I dream, and I can see us being married. But I need advice, I don't have anyone to turn to. So please SEND IN YOUR COMMENTS. I need all the help I can get!