Blah, Blah, Blah...

This past weekend has been the gloomiest yet.
I didn't get the job that was going to be so perfect.
My mother has been screaming at me every time I see or talk to her.
I have no job, no money.
I won't have a place to live soon.

On the bright side I am beginning to not resent my boyfriend. He is starting to come around. He basically gave me his second car to use (I just have to learn to drive a stick shift) and he's been saying to me "Try to hurry up and get your shit together so we can get married".
I have so many hopes and dreams for myself, and my family and our future.
I want to do something fun with myself, something adventurous.
But until I can afford to take that leap, I have to do mind numbing, demeaning work.

And I'm not complaining, cause I'll take anything I can get right now.
I have this awful feeling in the back of my head of impending doom: My dauhter and I being homeless out in the cold, No money, No food to feed her. It's hard to think that this could actually happen.

I'm still looking up, though. Hoping, trying as hard as I can just to get a job, and awaiting my fate.

It's funny because I never believed in fate before.